Go Team Go (To the DVD Store)

Just when I was thinking “There ain’t no good DVDs to see anymore” we got back-to-back homers in the bottom of the ninth.

One about corruption in NYC (payola, who woulda knowed?) coulda been about sanitation engineerin’ (that’s garbage collectin’) I s’present, but it was about dem crooks in da aim parts biz ‘long wit’ der unda-da-table gov’ment types. An all-star cast in “The Yards” (2000 release) includes James Caan, Mark Wahlberg, Charlize Theron, Faye Dunaway, Joaquin Phoenix. All straights A+s for measure guys. Ellen Burstyn, giv’er an A too. Problem was, da’ library copy was ruint right where da crux of da movie took place. I think Joaquin (Willie) did the dirt dough. Den set up his best bud to get kilt over it. Den accused Marky’s same guy (I’m thinkin’ Leo) a makin’ time wit’ his gal when sheez only 15. You get the pitcher. Course I ain’t one to badmouth da Apple, but makes sense ta me. Guess I shoulda bought it if I wanted to seez it, but alls a sudden I gets a bad rash o’ da cheaps. Well, weze dance on our DVDs here. Boy dese guys did measure accents great, well dats juz pros for yuz. Who directed dis mess? James Gray, he’s okay. Weze loved it.

And before that we saw “Truth or Consequences, N.M.” (1997), not quite as all-star a cast but not shabby neither. Kiefer Sutherland stars in a great directorial debut. Vincent Gallo is great. Rod Steiger too cool. There’s a big shoot ’em up and a cute rule girl for you testosteronis. Martin Sheen as Sir gets ‘er done. Boy his kid’s a mess though ain’t he? Now he didn’t just mess himself, he put 300 coworkers (who work on his TV show) on the unemployment line while he goes to Club Rehab.

So anyway, we tie the game in the bottom of the ninth with those back-to-backs and we feel pretty good about it with “Zodiac” (2007) comin’ up. Robert Downey, Jr., Jake Gyllenhall right? Downey had straightened up by the time that he took this role, but he nevertheless could play a screwball pretty good.

So we’re lookin’ for one more long one and we’re goin’ home a winner, but there’s two outs. Well, like Mighty Casey, “Zodiac” hit out.

Well we’ll get ’em in additional innings. Hope Ernie edges is coming up in the tenth. This ain’t the Yanks you know. We’re going to need Mr. Cub or Sweet-Swinging Billy coming up.

Funny, all three of these got 3-4 stars, but I don’t think so. I like the first two.

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